While listening to Mike & Mike talk about the NFL this morning, I could not help but feel sorry for America and all its idiot NFL fans. The league deserves a lock-out, a missed season, and a large scale exodus of fans, similar to what happened to the NHL several years ago.
The NFL truly is a terrible product. The style of play has become bland and vanilla. Take the logos off the helmets and every team essentially has the same game plan. There’s no character or imagination in the play calling or execution. Half the league is, has been, or will be in jail at some point.
On top of all that, it’s become a sport for pansies. This isn’t the fault of the players, for the most part, but handcuffing defensive players is not what fans want. The sport is violent by nature, extremely so. Yes, current and ex-players have health concerns, but no one is forcing them to play this game. They know the risks when they put their pads on and the incentive of making millions of dollars over a short period of time is enough for most athletes to take the chance. The media (some it run by the NFL) is quick to compare these atheletes to soldiers, warriors, and gladiators, then demonizes them for brutal hits. The league bans certain hits, fines players, and protects quarterbacks because of their value in regards to the NFL’s lucrative television contracts.
All of this brings us to an important point. The league itself and the media has ruined the NFL as we know it. The sport has become a vehicle for marketing. Like Two And A Half Men.
Hey America, it’s Sunday!
Order a pizza! With wings! And sugar-jizz covered cinnamon bread-cake!
Get drunk on beer!
Buy a new truck (this one gets TWENTY MPG!)!
Is your dick broken? We can fix that!
Hey, your TV isn’t big enough!
You’ve had a rough weekend what with the wife and kids and all, take a load off and watch some overpaid egomaniacal assholes play an intermittent sport for three hours!
But first, a word from our sponsors…
Everything that’s been stated up to this point should be pretty obvious. And why, why do we put up with it? Because we’re idiots. Because NFL football is the easiest game to follow. Get the ball over the line or kick it through the yellow Y-shaped thingy. Simple. Most of the games are on Sundays at one of two specific times. Simple. You only have to follow it for 17 weeks (before playoffs). Simple. This plays to the majority of America because we’re fucking lazy. Everyone in your office has a fantasy team because everyone in your office is a lazy fucking idiot. Think about it.
Let’s go back to the money aspect for a moment…
The NFL makes over $8,000,000,000 in revenue.
The average player salary is well over $1,000,000.
The average ticket price for a NFL game is over $75. Wanna stay home and watch the games instead? The NFL Sunday Ticket package for DirecTV costs $335 for the whole season. Yeah, you can DVR one game while watching another, but you can still only watch one game at a time, right? $335 for every single game. That’s 256 games. But after your take into account the nationally televised games you’d get anyway on ESPN, NFL Network, CBS, NBC, and FOX, it’s really not such a great deal for you, the loyal idiot.
Now the league and its most important employees, the players, want to bicker and argue about how to divide the revenue. It’s not that either side isn’t getting a fair wage, they just want more. Who pays for it? We do. By supporting the league in any number of ways, we enable these greedy fucks to sit in a little room and say, “I want more” or worse, “I deserve more.”
I’m pretty sure I can spend my cold-weather months doing something else. In fact, I think I want to.
No comments:
Post a Comment